when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
