so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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