so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
