haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
