I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
