she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
