A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
