I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
