3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like iHOP with fire
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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