Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
