I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
