i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
