this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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