Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
