He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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