can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
