you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
