I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Randomize
