i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
