there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
