she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She bit a glass in half.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
