these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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