I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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