I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
