You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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