Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We are two peas in an std pod
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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