i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
