im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
