Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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