I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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