how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
