It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
