well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
