Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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