Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
