whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
