Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
