That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
