I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
