So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
