at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
