Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
