between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
