Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Alive.
So much puke
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
