i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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