does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
