ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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