where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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