Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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