K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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