My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
