You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
