...so i touched it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
